School .... what is it good for?

My sacred vision for a nature-based, ethically rich life-learning hub, seems to have set an un-attainable standard for our little family, that keeps us on-the-move.

We pulled our kids from the Waldorf School we thought was ‘the one’.

My heart aches.
And so I write.

I currently have 45 pieces in draft here on SubStack. Like FFS. And in this season, I mean ‘Of course I f*cking do!’

The creative push and pull that currently lives within me is like having 10 kids on each side of a ‘tug-o-war’ contest inside my being.

Since the happenings of 2020, we’ve travelled a lot. My kids have been to more places than most will in their entires lives. They are no strangers to adventure and they are not hidden from the challenges that go along with it - including travelling in the middle of the ‘year that shall not be named’!

And, I feel complete. I don’t want to travel anymore - I wrote a little about it in one of my latest pieces, Viva Italia : a rite of passage. And by ‘I don’t want to travel anymore’, I mean I don’t want to live the life of a nomad anymore. Which is hilarious and you’ll find out why as you keep reading!!

I want a solid in-person community, a Village I can lean on, and one that can count on me.

You know, the text in the afternoon that reads ‘Shan, I need a few hours to myself, can I bring the kids to your place so I can sip my tea in peace and maybe lay naked in the sun to recharge these precious batteries’… I’d respond: ‘Heck yes, Ill make dinner and when you drop your Littles off, I’ll have something for you too. See you soon beautiful soul x’ .

I want to sow the soil, I want a puppy to raise alongside my Littles, I want to fill a home with not just love but beauty and not have to pack any of it up.

2020 showed me how broken the system is, how the blindfold was over our eyes, and the way I had been drinking up the societal narrative of what is right and what is wrong. I knew it was time to exit the matrix. Lucky for me, my husband was riding the same wave. I know of many marriages that weren’t and aren’t, and the latter is a hard ocean to swim.

From that moment a vision formed in my mind, where my children would become life learners, not desk surfers. Where families gather from all over the world to connect and create, where egos would be left at the door and bodies moved powerfully yet peacefully; where ancient ways would be woven into modern day and standards for Self and the collective are rooted in the rhythms of nature; where an honoring of our wholeness as humans fills the air.

The questions I’ve been sitting with over these past few weeks are:
Maybe nothing ‘alternative’ is fitting because it is NOT the vision!
Am I the problem, because the vision I desire cannot be found?
Maybe, this vision isn’t supposed to be just a vision anymore…

THE DECISION
We’re a family who are not afraid to make new decisions, to quit what’s not working and re-route.

Over the years, I’ve learned there is a very fine line between holding-the-line in order to honor-the-stretch that must occur for growth, and the very pushing of it to be too far. Where the point of tension becomes a full-body contraction, then armored protection and then that individual is no longer available to dual it out in the arena of their own growth!

It’s an even finer line for our children.

I’m pretty attuned to my Littles, to their inner landscapes and the unique ways they learn, love, express their needs both unspoken and otherwise… when their light is all the way on and when it begins to dim.

3 weeks ago there were a few moments where my intuition whispered: this is not right - something is off. Then my kids showed me. They didn’t have to say anything because their body’s said it all.

You see, the body is the original mother tongue, before we even whispered a word, the body spoke for us. She still does. And this is a language we can all rediscover, no matter how disconnected we might currently feel from our body or what our trauma or conditioning may tell us.

I communicated to my son’s teacher that he would no longer be attending the school. Still today, more than 2 weeks since pulling him, I have had zero response. His lack of reply has bolstered our decision even more.

On that same day, I had joined the ‘English Speaking Families of Verona’ FB group. I made a post and within hours was inundated with messages for meet-ups, options for potential bi-lingual schools. We lined up a few visits and BANG.

A very very small bi-lingual Forest ‘School’ became our temporary space for learning with other English speaking children, all while providing lots of time in nature and NO PRESSURE to learn Italian in order to make friends and be understood.

After the first day the light within my Littles was ALL the way on again and I exhaled.

It is such a lesson in moving with the flow of life, listening on a deeper level, having the courage to NOT stick with a decision just because you made it. F that! Because seriously, at what cost?

There is a very fine line between honoring-the-stretch and causing unnecessary emotional and spiritual harm especially in ourselves and our kids. It doesn’t matter what others think or what stories get conjured up; what matters is that our heads and hearts hit the pillow at night in coherence with the values we live by.




TRUST

/trʌst/
noun

1. firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

I believe trust is something that is earned, not something we are entitled to. It only took 2 incidents with ‘Maestra di Musica’ for me to not feel I could trust her with my son, despite the fact she was demanding for us to trust her. After one such incident, she turned to my son (8) and forcefully said ‘he needs to trust me!’

No one can demand for you to trust them. They have to earn it. It is felt, it can be ruptured and yes, it can be repaired, but it requires time, patience, and repetitive acts of trustworthiness - it requires the commitment by all to co-create this precious golden thread within any relationship.

It really got me questioning who it is that we entrust with the care of our precious little people: Who are they really? What do they value and is it in alignment with what we value? What is being said in classrooms, and how is it being expressed through the body and via the voice? Is that in alignment, or is the body expressing something completely different to words moving through one’s lips?

I have so many questions. So, so many questions!

I feel as though we have just been told to trust those who went and got a degree, however credible, remembered a whole lot of information and now they are given the next generation to guide and shape? This makes no sense to me.

When I think about the traditions of those who walked before us, the tribes that my Shaman often speaks of, the initiations she has been through and the fact that it is always the elders of the tribe, those who have walked through many rites of passage and seen so much, those who have had to face off with themselves spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally that move into roles of healing, leadership, teaching and become the wisdom keepers for the next generation to turn to.

They had to earn their right to the role.
We know who they are because we’ve witnessed them become it!

And so, when after a week in, I asked myself if this little forest school was ‘it’ - would we move our family 45mins to the other side of the lake to make this our home?

The firm answer was ‘no’.
This was not it.
This was far from it.

And so, I allowed myself to feel deflated, disappointed and to traverse the unknown yet again, while simultaneously our life circumstances swirled into uncertainty immediately putting my Italian residency in jeopardy.

Behind the scenes, Spirit was rearranging the pieces like she always does and while I began to write this from Italy, I am now completing this from the shores of… Greece.

Where my Littles will visit the Pantheon and Temple of Zeus, stroll through the streets of Athens, complete projects on Greek Mythology and swim in the turquoise water of the Mediterranean.

I know, f*cking wild right?! But, if you can then why not?

WALDORF. JUST ANOTHER INSTITUTION DRESSED DIFFERENTLY.

When I think about my kids being told to sit down, comply, remember and regurgitate that which some board has decided is what my child ‘should’ learn, it makes my body recoil. This is not growth, this is not aliveness, this is not harmony with the world around us: this is indoctrination and separation.

And I am damn sure I do not want my children indoctrinated into a society that is deficient in the very thing we are all made up of. When we turn to her, we learn so much about ourselves, one another and the world around us.

When we separate a child from their so called ‘spirited’ ways, we disconnect them from their body and the sacred connection to their creative and intuitive nature that is divinely innate. This is what I witness at school. This is what I witnessed at Waldorf. And here is thing I have teetered on: I wanted an alternate model of schooling for my children that was child-centred… but is it really, or is it simply another institution pushing another agenda??

During our time at this Waldorf school, while I loved that bread, olive oil + salt was what the entire class ate at snack time, it didn’t fit our values or ways of eating. We were told that our son could only bring his food for a few weeks then he would have to eat what everyone else was.

While I love the concept of eating together and what this creates in terms of the rhythm and connection within the class, taking away sovereignty around a fundamental need is not ok and further to that, being told that if he wants to eat his food he will need to sit outside of the circle! ‘Don’t worry’ they said, ‘he will want to be part of the group and the other children will push him to do what they are doing’.

LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?

Here is the thing, you never know if something is for you until you make the decision AND are IN that decision! And to the woman reading this who IS afraid of making decisions because ‘what if it doesn’t work?’, I say ‘What if it doesn’t work? By trying you will find out and then you can quit guessing and living with questions on your heart!’

LIFE ASKS FOR MORE THAN ANOTHER GRAMMAR LESSON

It took post-natal depression for the second time for me to find self love, the depth + potency of personal development and energetic healing. It took me thousands of dollars and countless hours of study to learn what school never taught me about myself and the world. It took Covid and becoming the black sheep who wouldn’t comply to lift the veil from my eyes. It took breathwork and sobriety to find healthy + loving relationships, and how ever many dark nights of the soul to arrive where I am today.

What if we taught conscious communication and the art of repair in relationships?
What if nature’s rhythms and the sacredness of the body were fundamental subjects?
What if ethics and understanding one’s emotional well-being took the place of the time it took to write yet another english essay?
What if naturopathy, human movement, grounded spirituality (not forced religion), somatics and functional nutrition were themes explored from the very beginning?
What if we fostered financial abundance through innovative ideas, creative pursuits and the healing arts?

Imagine that world for a moment. Imagine!

Since 2021 I have written for some of the worlds most recognised publications, including USA Today and ghostwritten many articles for Forbes. I have a published book and no I didn’t go to university to study PR or journalism.

I had a love for words and so I wrote. I was put forward for a position with a PR company and I wrote straight from my heart for them. I learnt the guidelines and requirements for each publication on-the-go and interviewed incredibly high profile entrepreneurs just by being a people-person.

You see, we don’t need another lesson on grammar - we can learn what we need in terms of applied maths, science, english etc when it matters, because we seek a role requiring it.

What we need is to raise ourselves all over again alongside the next generation and not put off some of the most fundamental pieces and parts of our own evolution until we are in our thirties or later.

I believe that if I had a better understanding of myself in the world from a younger age, I would not have endured some of the trauma that I did.

I believe that if I knew how to have a healthy relationship, how to set boundaries, process my emotions and communicate from the heart, gosh some of the painful moments in my late teens and 20s (mostly caused by my own ego) would’ve been prevented.

I believe that if I truly understood my divinity, the beauty within every cell and that there is a rhyme and reason we are all created so uniquely, I would have made better decisions in regard to my body.

None of the most pivotal moments in my life required the fear mongering of what failing chemistry would mean, the crying over fractions, and I can sure as heck tell you the Geography I took until 10th grade did nothing compared to actually travelling the world… and you know what? None of it, absolutely fucking none of what was ‘taught’ at school, prepared me for the rite of passage that is birth and then becoming a mother all while holding and tending to the soil of a marriage.

THE VISION

What if we created it? What if the vision I have held so close to my heart is the actual inner workings of the hub we are meant to create?

They say, ‘if you can’t find it, build it’ - I don’t actually know if ‘they’ say that (I mean, who are ‘they’ anyway?) but if they do, then this is exactly what I am pondering. What we, my husband and I, are pondering.

How might one find THE place where families gather from all over the world?
I have no f*cking clue! But I know putting it out into the world is the first step!

How might one fund such a project?
I have no f*cking clue, however I know that putting your heart on the line by beginning to speak life into it, is the way.

How might one energetically hold this through vision and into inception?
By doing it, by being it, by believing in it - this is how we learn to expand our capacity.

A life learning and wellness hub, for the children of world to become the greatest adults they can be, alongside their Parents who are doing the work for their children to see.

And so, we will see what is birthed from here. Where Spirit is taking us, I have no idea - that doesn’t mean I stop walking, so in the meantime, we’ll scout out Greece and see if it might just be a potential place for us to gather.

In warmth,
Shannon xx

ps. if you got this far, thank you!

In 2023, myself and 9 other women co-authored an incredible book titled ‘Becoming Whole Again: a healing legacy for our daughters’ the process of writing this book was one of the most healing things I have done!

We gathered every week to write our hearts out, we picked up the mic and spoke what we wrote, we cried together, laughed together and grew free from the chains of pain and shame that kept us shackled.

As I reflect on the potency of that space, and I have devoted myself to frequent pieces here on Substack, I have decided that for my paid subscriber community I will now also host a monthly ‘Writing Circle’.

Healing and growth doesn’t happen in the mind, it happens in the body and by taking sacred action, these Writing Circles will gift you all of that and so much more.

If this speaks to you, please join us by clicking below and meet me at The Altar of our first Writing Circle on Thursday 17th April at 9am (GMT+3 Athens Greece).